I am a step adoptee. Until 2018, I never said these words to myself. It’s not that I didn’t know my stepfather adopted me, I just didn’t think it was important. Then, in 2018, something wonderful happened that sparked in me an unextinguishable need to know...Everything. I set out on a quest to discover all I could about my biological father. He was an opera singer (listen to this podcast for clips of his singing) and an amateur photographer (click here to see his work). In the process of digging into my father’s story, I realized for the first time how much the secrecy surrounding him, combined with my stepfather’s adoption of me, had shaped my identity.

My quest lasted three years. In many respects it is still ongoing. I’ve written about the incredible event that started it all and some of what happened next in my published essays, which I hope you will check out on these pages.

I now have a completed memoir. The working title, Knowing Is Everything, reflects the transformation I went through while on my quest. When I started, I thought I’d write my father’s story as a straightforward account of a life uncovered through research and diligence. What I didn’t expect was my own transformation. While filling in the details of my father’s life, I realized I was also writing my own story. As my favourite adoption writer and psychologist Michael Grand would say, I had been missing Chapter One of my life. (You can listen to Michael Grand here.)

My Chapter One will never be accurate or complete, but what I’ve learned has fulfilled me in ways I never expected. The quest I embarked on in 2018 allowed me to claim my history and understand the importance of knowing my biological origins. My aim is to share my discovery and the ways it transformed me with anyone who also grew up with a gap in their family of origin. Because everyone has the right to know their story.